Cancer is no respecter of persons. Wherever you might come from; male or female; how young or old; how genetically disposed: this condition can invade your body.
When first diagnosed, it’s a shock to the entire of your system.
Initially, it takes some time to adjust. We found that trying to find out the realities about the particular cancer in our case was very helpful in understanding how it works and what it does. Various tests establish the exact stage of the cancer, how treatment might continue and a possible prognosis determined. It seemed that sharing this information with friends and family somehow diluted the emotional burden for us and this in its turn formed a support system that helped us to cope.
Many people encourage a ‘positive’ attitude. Being positive-specific also assists distract from the bad things about the situation and focus on the good things that stay.
Chemotherapy, radiotherapy and surgery were prescribed. None of these things have to be endured by carers, family or other loved ones but they’ve other important concerns both for themselves and on behalf of the patient.
My wife had discomfort, pain; the treatment had side-effects that were many and varied; she had to lie in a hospital bed with tubes in personal places and be constantly interrupted by attention-giving doctors and nurses. She had plenty of time to think about missing home and routines, eating and the activities of normal daily life.
Being nearest to the patient I had daily concerns about how she was dealing with the above; how best to keep her distracted from those things. I had to grapple with my own feelings. At the same time, for me, life did have to go on in addition to the inevitable extra application of mind and body to the new conditions.
So, what does coping mean?
For my wife it meant accepting that the process of treatment was an essential one.
For me, I had to appreciate, be alert of all of these things and, be ready to adjust accordingly.
Is any of this easy? Sorry to say, it isn’t! Cancer evokes in most of us a chill feeling but, like most issues in life, it’s not the issue itself but how you comprehend and then deal with it.
